Tears - Part II

I knew this part II entry would come. It's 0230 Singapore time here and i secretly switch on my laptop because of the itching desire for a response in my last entry.

The response came. So did the tears. 我真的真的真得很讨厌我自己．

I did something wrong again. I cannot get rid of the guilt, i really can't. And so i realise how much you mean to me as a friend. I miss you so much.

i've read your cards. I thank you for the colours, I thank you for the words and I thank you for the thoughts. If you take away everything else i have achieved, I am stripped to nothing good. but you are different. You have been more of an inspiration to me than anything else.

I wish time would PAUSE too. and so I can fly back to say sorry to you.

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This would be my last entry, today is exactly 8 months since i left home. Doesn't sound like a long time. but i need more time, not to recover from jet lag but to recover from the indescribable pain from parting.

Thank you everybody, Rina, Martina, Doreen, Vale, Ryoko, Fion, Mika, Kaori Kaori, Ami, Telly, Ukun, Richard, Karen, Ping, Christina, Mohammad, Clement, Ying, Rah, Zuthur, Nic, Teckie, Elibird, XC, Jeannie, William, and everyone and everyone else too.

All of you guys mean SO much to me. But chill, its all part and parcel of life. Tears are products of emotions and I so dedicate each and every drop to all. If you find yourself in the same situation after you go back to your home country, you know our hearts are close and we will always remember our days spent together. Drinking, dancing, eating, oshiripenpen and all the hugs.

Blessings to all. CHEERS!

P.S Ways to come to singapore - call Yana and book a plane. Your holiday is settled. =)
P.S.S Those w/o facebook - PLEASE GET ONE @ facebook.com!!! Search for my email : cyjchatter@hotmail.com just copy and paste, it's not that hard, isn't it?
P.S.S.S Actually only my Singaporean friends (& 串) read this blog, so well, if you happen to be one of those mentioned above, leave a comment!
P.S.S.S.S thanks to Xintian and Kaixin too who made my holidays-in-a-random-meet-up so shiokalaosai.
P.S.S.S.S.S Thanks to my parents i miss them alot. and Thanks to all my Singapore friends who have been supporting me emotionally even though we are far away. It takes effort, I know. THANK YOU.

私の最初経験 - 北斗七星

好珍惜我们所有一起的第一次. 天下真的没有不散的宴席, 所以在此祝福大家. 感谢你们带给我那么多美好的回忆, 我们一定会有再见面的一天. 一定会有的.

すばらしい記憶をありがとう.

Tears - part I

title is self-explanatory. I'm sitting in the library with my tears rolling down my cheeks constantly while i type this entry... I'm upset that Rina has left, I'm feeling distressed with the sudden loneliness and very frightful of going back to Singapore/NUS. I really am...

我不要读书啦... 我要去潜水啦....

Haha pardon the chinese la...

among all the 'distraughtening' behaviours of the british-borns (read: couple who had sex behind the LT in front of me) and the appalling attitudes of service staff in Uni, i'm still surviving well to the last bit here. The most recent incident worth a mention was when i wanted to retrive a registed parcel from the accommodation office. It was delivered more than 1 month ago but it never came to me. I approached the staff in the office and explained my situation.

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me: I know i have a parcel delivered here but i never got a ticket (for registered mails) issued by the office to me. It was registered so i know it was delivered and I have a proof of delivery, can you help me to check?

staff: Now, what are you saying here? (Folded his arms)

me: What do you mean?

staff : Are you saying that WE stole your parcel? If you don't have a ticket, it just means we never received it, so don't come in and point fingers.

me: what? I'm not here to accuse anybody of stealing. I just telling you it's been delivered here but i don't have it. Why don't you just let me show you my proof? It was signed by someone with the intials A.A.

staff: There's NOBODY here with the initials A.A. it must have been sent to the wrong address and someone signed it. We don't have it if you don't have a ticket. you can look around the office yourself by all means.

me: I WANT to show you my proof. it's on the internet.

Staff: OK. this is MY PERSONAL computer. but i'll let you use it.

-showed him-

Staff: Bizarre... I've never seen that signature before. It's not me for sure.

Me: Can i see the book with all the recorded deliveries?

Staff: Take it and look at it yourself.

- I found my record and pointed to him-

Staff: Oh... strange, you see... i wasn't around on the 20th Dec so i don't know who signed it...

-search for my parcel and hands to me-

Staff: You see, during the christmas period we have so many mails, sometimes we can't label everything properly because there is just too many. And there could be mails placed in different places... and when u said parcel, i thought you meant big boxes... *yadayada*

Me: OKOKOK i got it so OK. -i shut him up and walked out-

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He's not the first british i've met with such a rotten personality. So defensive, so arrogant, so much to talk when shit splats on him.

Alright, story telling session II has ended.

Midst of Examinations

I just finished my 2nd paper... and i walked out of the exam hall half hour earlier... and the paper was really easy la... my god... if i don't have careless mistakes i think i will get full marks for this paper... Haha... But my first paper was a disaster... i think i will fail that module... but blessing in disguise, i get to take my elective in NUS! and its graded! and my project group is quite zai! so i'll get my chance at >B+ and its actually much better than an S/U module... do your math with the CAP equation, you will know what i mean...

So not every failure constitutes a failure.

Yesterday night (when i was supposed to be studying) I went over to Ryoko's place and had a great dinner again... They love cooking and i enjoy their cooking, so what's good for them is good for me. no compromise =) -hahaha- pig's heart soup (Fion's 拿手好菜）and rice and chicken and KAKUNI (Ryoko's forte) ... their food is very补脑 that's why today's paper was easy. HEH!!!

Oh yea, i must tell all my readers what happened the night before my 1st exam (the one i will fail).... Clement, Sarah and I were in the LT studying at night when this Indian couple came in and sat right at the back of the LT. They talked and they kissed and just doing everything else but studying. For about 2 hours. Then later on, Clement and Sarah went off for dinner but i wanted to stay behind to study. So when i was left alone in the LT, the Indian couple started making out on the floor and MY GOD i was so distracted!!! I went to the front of the LT where the whiteboard is and i just ignored them. But, it was hard not to ignore...

I started hearing heavy breathing sounds and i looked back. WAH LAO... They were having sex on the floor larh!!!!! They weren't naked...the guy probably just had his fly unzipped or something... But well, i'll spare the details of what i witnessed, u just have to know they were fucking each other at the back of the LT in my presence. I got so restless i couldn't concerntrate at all... and i felt scared (I have no idea why) but i just prayed for Clement to come back to the LT ASAP!!!! i left the LT and waited for him outside for about 1.5 hours... and everything was penting up inside....

Clement finally came back with food for me and the Indian couple had left ... but i was trying hard to cool down, Clement was really apologetic, he sat beside me and listen to me complain about the Indian couple then he started to play sun yan zi's song on the LT Speakers...

Sun Yan Zi's = Therapeutic songs...

I started to cry (Aiyoh, like a big baby)... I was thankful for the food, thankful for the music, and most importantly, thankful to have Clement. So the next day i went for the exam without revising anything the night before... hence the disaster.

Ok, story telling session is over. Have a nice day people!

Hi guys, i've been studying for the upcoming exams...

I'm studying Geotechnics (Soil mechanics) in Leeds here but i looked through the exam papers for Soil Mechanics from NUS... i couldn't do a single question... but here in Leeds, the questions are much more straight forward and from a perspective of a non-engineering student, any kuchingkurak students can handle engineering here in Leeds.

Sometimes i don't understand why UK universities are so highly rated. They don't have bell curves (lack of competitiveness), the questions are so easy (for level 3 modules) and lecture times are half of NUS' (I get 1hour 40 min of lecture time a week per module, NUS Engineering lectures are 4 hours a week), they don't have tutorials (don't talk about NUS now). So what's the 'thing' that makes UK Uni such a hot favourite among students in the world?

Anyway, i still have to study to make up for the past 4 months of playing. So i've been a little passive among my friends... Just want to make a special mention that NUS have really grilled us to survive in any damn environment (maybe not in India's IIT yet)... oh dear. why.

Anyway, for those who watched Notting Hill, here's a picture for you guys. =)

A call for celeberation

Hi guys, it's the new year once again, and my friends and i spent it in LONDON! yay!

All Asian girls - Japanese, Taiwanese and Singaporean! To keep ourselves warm, we had to play "O shi di pian pian" - means smack your butt!!!! boy, my think mine went red, and we enjoyed it! Girls rock! Boys suck! (one of them just had a failed r/s a day ago - so that was our theme - nan2 ren2 dou1 shi4 jian4) well, i can only agree to a certain extent for i am no saint too. Still, girls gettogether is still an unbeatable company.

we talked about new year resolutions, and i think i'm not blogging them here. Revealing too much of myself and my desires only makes me a more vulnerable person. so i'm keeping them to myself (although i didn't give much thoughts anyway)

so yup, fireworks in London was amazing! It was all around the London Eye (that ferris wheel) and it has the best choreography ever. one of the buildings behind London Eye was used as a huge screen projector, where we could see the count down. I wish i could upload the video for you guys to see but maybe next time.


and i cannot believe that the Singaporeans actually stayed in the hotel watching DVDs! (u know who u are....) With no offence, it does make me think about taking life for granted and not cherishing time, as if we would stay young forever. Maybe i'm becoming too old but i truly felt that it was a great pity we could not share this moment of joy together.

Anyway, this day means my study camp starts tmr in the library with clement - the 2 who will be struggling hard to pass the upcoming examination.